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Parallel Structure/Transcript
Transcript Text reads: The Mysteries of Life with Tim and Moby MOBY: Beep! Beep! A robot, Moby, reads something on his computer and cries. A boy, Tim, comes over to him. TIM: Whoa, what's wrong, buddy? I haven't seen you this upset since the end of Toy Story 3. MOBY: Beep. Moby points to the Reality World webpage. Tim reads from the webpage. TIM: The Empty Vee Network has canceled "Dancing with America's Next Top Housewife," its most popular reality series. The show, which assembles the worst people from every other reality show, has become an embarrassment to the network, and to America in general. TIM: Hmm. Maybe you could write a letter asking them to put the show back on the air. MOBY: Beep. Moby likes Tim's suggestion and types a letter. Text reads: 30 seconds later. Moby takes the printout of the letter from the printer. TIM: Wow, that was fast. Let me take a look. Tim reads over Moby's letter. TIM: This isn't bad, but it could benefit from the proper use of parallel structure. A new e-mail alert beeps on the computer. TIM: Which is pretty convenient, because we just got a letter on that very topic. Tim reads the e-mail letter. TIM: Dear Tim and Moby, my teacher is making me practice parallelism in writing. What can you tell me about it, and what is its purpose? From, Lolo (Houston). Parallel structure is when you repeat a particular pattern of words within a single sentence. It's an example of a rhetorical device, a technique authors use to make their writing clearer, stronger, and more persuasive. Let's take a look at the beginning of your letter. You write, Tim reads from Moby's letter. TIM: Empty Vee broke our hearts when it canceled Dancing with America's Next Top Housewife. I know its viewers are angry, and you have ruined the whole summer. The paragraph is shown as Tim reads it. TIM: Let's try rephrasing that in parallel structure: Empty Vee broke our hearts, ruined our summer, and angered its loyal viewers. The reworked sentence appears with the parallel construction highlighted. TIM: See how that sentence is tighter and clearer than your original? Tim's reworked sentence shows above Moby's original sentence. MOBY: Beep. TIM: Right. I see how you've tried to use parallel structure in places, but you've sort of done it wrong. Like here you write that, Tim reads from Moby's letter. TIM: Dancing is funny, exciting, and entertainment. The sentence Tim reads appears above an image of Moby watching the TV show and laughing. TIM: When you write in parallel structure, all the parts of speech in the list have to match. "Funny" and "exciting" are both adjectives, but "entertainment" is a noun. So the sentence is grammatically incorrect. "Funny," and "exciting" are highlighted and appear under adjective and "entertainment" is highlighted and appears under noun. TIM: Instead, it should be, "funny, exciting, and entertaining." The sentence is shown with Tim's changes. MOBY: Beep. TIM: Okay, let's move down here. You write that, Tim reads from Moby's letter. TIM: Benny loves to style his hair, to do laundry, and work out at the gym. The sentence Tim reads appears above images that illustrate what Benny loves to do. TIM: If you use a word like "to" to introduce a series, you only have to use it once. An X appears over the second instance of "to" in the sentence. TIM: The same thing goes for articles like "the" and "a," and possessive pronouns like "his," "her," and "their." The articles and possessive pronouns Tim mentions are shown. TIM: So you can change it to, "Benny loves to style his hair, do laundry, and work out at the gym." The sentence is shown with Tim's changes. TIM: Or, you can use the word all three times; you could say, "Benny cares a lot about his hair, his muscles, and his clothing." The sentence is shown with Tim's changes and the word "his" highlighted. TIM: So use it three time, or use it once. Just don't use it twice, or you'll be arrested by the grammar police. An image shows a girl being arrested by the grammar police. The officers have the letter "G" on their shields. TIM: Moving along. Over here, you write that, Tim reads from Moby's letter. TIM: Tommy promised Tammy he never called or talks to other girls. The sentence Tim reads appears above Tommy holding Tammy's hand and talking to her. TIM: When you're using parallel structure to list verbs, like "call" and "talk," they all have to be in the same tense and form. Here, "call" is in the past tense, but "talk" is in the present tense. "Called" and "talks" are highlighted because they are in different tenses. TIM: It has to be one or the other. Either he never called or talked to other girls, or he never calls or talks to other girls. Both of Tim's reworked sentences appear. TIM: See? MOBY: Beep. TIM: Excellent. TIM: Now, down here, you write, Tim reads from Moby's letter. TIM: Tammy yelled at Tommy, but she was ignored by him. The sentence Tim reads appears above Tammy yelling at Tommy who has ear plugs in his ears. TIM: "Yelled" is an active voice verb, while "was ignored" is in the passive voice. "Yelled" and "was ignored" are highlighted because one is active voice and one is passive voice. TIM: That's another no-no. Sentences are clearer when all the verbs are in the same voice. In this case, active voice sounds better: "Tammy yelled at Tommy, but he ignored her." The sentence is shown with Tim's changes. TIM: Now, this is where it starts to get tricky. You see this sentence? Tim reads from Moby's letter. TIM: Pookie loves not only to go shopping, but also cole slaw and drinking fruit punch. The sentence Tim reads appears above Pookie who is shown with shopping bags, and eating cole slaw and drinking fruit punch. MOBY: Beep? TIM: I know what you're trying to say, but your word choice needs to be consistent. So, you could say, "Pookie loves not only going shopping, but also eating cole slaw and drinking fruit punch." In this case, you're using verbs to describe the things that Pookie loves to do. The sentence is shown with Tim's changes with the verbs highlighted. TIM: Or you could abandon the verbs all together and say "Pookie not only loves shopping, but also cole slaw and fruit punch." This way, all the things she loves are nouns, Capisce? The sentence is shown with Tim's changes with the nouns highlighted. MOBY: Beep! TIM: Great. Now fix those mistakes, and we'll send it to the Empty Vee network right away. MOBY: Beep. Text reads: Two Days Later. Moby excitedly shows Tim a letter. TIM: You got a letter back from Empty Vee already? MOBY: Beep! Tim reads Empty Vee's typed letter. TIM: Dear Mr. Moby, Since we decided to cancel Dancing with America's Next Top Housewife, we have received thousands of angry letters. Yours, however, displayed a mastery of the English language rarely seen among our fans. With this in mind, we have decided to keep Dancing on the air in order to provide programming that appeals to the educated, discerning audience that we've been trying to reach for decades. MOBY: Beep! Moby jumps around while Tim reads the letter, then raises his hands up in the air when Tim finishes the letter. TIM: Educated? Intellectual Dancing with America's Next Top Housewife is like the dumbest thing on TV! All those people do is act stupid and fight with each other! Text reads: 30 Minutes Later. Tim and Moby are sitting on the couch, eating chips, and watching Dancing. DANCING CHARACTER: Eyyy, we got a circumstance over here! TIM: Oh, no he didn't. Tim and Moby smile and give each other a high five. Category:BrainPOP English Transcripts Category:BrainPOP Transcripts